Saturday, January 9, 2010

Eddy

7 years ago, when my little sister heard that I was pregnant with Niamh, she voiced concern that I might not love the baby as much as I loved my dog, Eddy. She had good reason to be worried. That dog and I had a pretty special bond.

Eddy was the world’s worst guard dog, and the best everything else you want in a dog, friend, and companion. My heart is still broken because he is gone, and I kind of hope it doesn’t ever heal.

It all happened pretty darn fast. Though we now realize there were signs of a brain tumor over the last few months, we don’t think he suffered until his last day, which just happened to be my 35th birthday. Steve and I couldn’t stand to see him in pain and scared. We did what we thought was the brave and selfless thing to do. There will probably always be a little piece of me that wishes I had endless resources to be able to go full throttle with diagnostic tests, surgery, chemo, steroids, and more anti-seizure meds. But, really, that wouldn’t have been fair to a pooch that would never know what the hell was happening to him.

I don’t know if I wish I were 4 years old, like Finn, and not know that this is so painful. Or, if I prefer to cry about him when I remember what a perfect pet he was for me and our family because he deserves all the tears that show how much I appreciate his sweet and goofy personality.

We all miss you, Sweet Pup. We’d give anything to see you run past us, through the dog door, with a stolen dirty diaper in your mouth again.

9 comments:

K. said...

eddy was so loved.

AL said...

Dang, teary again....that was a great slideshow.

Meg said...

Tears streaming down my sad little face. You're right it was the bravest most selfless thing for you and Steve to do...the right decision is never, ever the easy one. You're a good mama. Loved this Eddie video. Hopefully you'll like Richard as much.

Anonymous said...

Ohhh sweet Eddy, Ed Weird, Road Block (there were so many names) you will be missed. He was my number one favorite dog and half the joy of visiting you. I always knew I could get snuggles from him when cuddle time with Niamh was over. He'll be missed.

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

Annika said...

what a lovely tribute.

Joanna Stanley said...

So sweet, Fiona....what a great video. I've missed you at work! Hope to see you soon. :-)

Julie said...

Oh Eddy, I miss the hell out of you, too. He was the best 4 legged dog I know. You're right; he was the worst guard dog ever, but that was part of his charm.
I loved that old, gray face, that stinky breath, that nubby tail wagging, and that chubby happy pup dance he did when he was free to run. So, so cute and sweet. Forever a puppy. You did good by him Steve and Fi. He knew he was loved.
I gotta go blow my nose and wash my face now.
Beautiful photo tribute. I'll make sure and revisit whenever I'm in need of a good cry.
Love you guys. Let me know when you need to borrow Lola for some doggy lovin'.

fiona westover said...

Oh, Julie, you knew him well! Thanks for adding those attributes. Who would have thought I would crave that horrible breath panting at me while begging for some love.
I'll take Lola from you anytime. And, I might just take that offer to have her over for no reason other than to have her near. Thanks.