Tuesday, January 31, 2012

She's No Hope Solo

Me: Niamh, I got an email from Coach Joe. He wants to know if you are going to play soccer this Spring.
Niamh: I don't know. Part of me says I should play and part of me says I shouldn't.
Me: Well, when your parts decide, let me know so I can let Coach Joe know if you are playing.

Me: Niamh, did you think about your decision to play soccer?
Niamh: Yes, I did. I decided I am not going to play.
Me: OK, I respect your decision and will tell Coach Joe.
Niamh: Well, unless there is going to be a Pizza Party.
Me: There will probably be a Pizza Party at the end of the season.
Niamh: OK, then I'll play.
Me: Your dedication to the team is impressive.
Niamh: You're welcome.
Me: Yeah, that's what I'll tell Coach Joe...he's welcome to have someone who's playing for all the right reasons.

If only looking pretty were a sport...

Niamh's favorite playing position, on the sidelines sitting in my chair, hoping the coaches won't see her and send her on to the field.

Niamh least favorite playing position, on the field, running after the ball, hoping that pure luck will create contact between the ball and her foot.

U8 Team Incredibles, Fall 2011

Sunday, January 22, 2012

My 6 Year Old Son

In December, 6 years ago, we moved from LA to Seattle. I was about 33 weeks pregnant with Finn. It was really cold. There was snow on the ground. We didn't have anything warmer than zip up hoodies because it was 90° in The San Fernando Valley when we left. I took Niamh, who had just turned 2, to the downtown Seattle REI to buy cold weather gear. While we were there, I let her play on the old slide that was supposed to look like a hollowed out log (this predates the huge tree climbing structure that is there now). It was my little Niamh and 3 older boys on the slide. Those boys were wild. The only time they slid down the slide was when Niamh was on it and they were trying to knock her off. Otherwise, they stood at the top of the slide and jumped to the ground on top of each other in a pile. They were very loud, had a lot of energy, and I'm sure had each spent time in the ER for battle wounds. I remember holding my belly and thinking to myself, I hope the Ultrasonographer was wrong and you are actually a girl. I don't want a boy.
I'm no longer worried. Yesterday Finn turned 6 and he is a perfect mix of truck loving, rock kicking, airplane drawing, couch jumping, weapon wielding boy, and soft-hearted, cuddley, mama-loving sap (the latter thanks to his dad). Who could be worried about a kid who's Holy Trinity is Martin Luther King, Barack Obama, and Santa Claus?

Don't tell Finn, but I didn't try to make a reservation at the trampoline place where he wanted to have his party. I told him they were booked through August 2014.
I blame it on PTSD from the scene at the REI slide 6 years ago. If three young boys jumping from a slide in an outdoor recreation store could make me want to turn to Chinese Herbs to change the gender of my unborn child from male to female, imagine the remedy I'd seek if trapped in a trampoline room with 23 kindergarten boys.
The party was held at the Mountlake Terrace Pool. It was perfect. All kids had fun and no bones were broken.


Happy Birthday Finn. 
Thanks to you, I know that not all boys are icky.
I love you, Pal.
Oh, and so we are clear. 20+ Kindergarten Boys are loud no matter where they are.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

School Cancelled Due To Inclement Weather

Niamh and Finn have been out of school all week!
Monday was MLK Day, and school has been cancelled the rest of the week because of crappy weather and icy road conditions.
LUCKY DUCKS. As a kid, what I wouldn't have given to have had school cancelled unexpectedly. It must be like receiving a surprise call from staffing at 5:30am to offer me a No Pay. 
I remember in the Winter of 5th grade the heat at Immaculate Heart Of Mary School broke and instead of cancelling school, we were allowed to break dress code and wear sweats under our tartan uniform skirts. I thought that was a treat.

Today, we took advantage of the snow accumulation and went sledding at Gas Works Park with Katie and Simone.  It was the most fun I've had sober all Winter.

On the way home, we had to stop for some supplies because no perfect school free snow day ends without a direct in the mouth squirt of reddi whip and hot chocolate with mini marshmallows.

And that, Children, is how you take advantage of a snow day.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Snowmageddon 2012

Lots of chatter on the news about the snow fall that is coming to Seattle tonight.

That is not snow in my basement that you see. Its dog bed #313.

I think I know who did it.

You're Dead Meat, Gus.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Why I Hate My Dogs-an essay by Fiona Shaw Westover

I hate my dogs because at 2:00 this afternoon my well organized day ended and it was all their fault.

At 2:00 this afternoon, I arrived home from a lovely lunch with friends with plans to finish prepping dinner, complete my Web Based Training that is required before a training day for work tomorrow, and do some work on my Christmas slideshow. After that, I was going to get the kids from their after school program, do homework with Niamh, and have a healthy dinner that was in the works since yesterday when I put my organic boneless skinless chicken breasts in a delicious buttermilk and spice marinade.

Instead of completing my well organized list of tasks, I came home to 2 dogs surrounded by the insides of their dog bed. That sight completely derailed the rest of my day. 

I cleaned up their mess so that it didn't get any worse. I threw away their 312th dog bed in 1 1/2 years. I put the breading on the chicken (hoping that we would still be able to eat a good meal tonight). I picked the kids up early from their after school program. We all sat in traffic for an hour on the way to Costco to get the 313th dog bed in 1 1/2 years. We all got lost on the way to Costco to get the 313th dog bed in 1 1/2 years because I took the Viaduct which I haven't taken since they tore part of it down and I couldn't figure out how to get across all the railroad tracks and dead ends to connect with 4th Ave. 

When we got to Costco, the first thing we did was get pizza at the $1.50 cafe because I realized we wouldn't be eating my well balanced meal before 8pm.

We bought the dogs their 313th and 314th dog beds (because I was sure Dumb and Dumber weren't stopping at 313 dog beds destroyed), got in the car and headed home in more traffic. 

But wait, the dogs piss me off even more!

When we got home, I turned on the oven, determined to eat some of my chicken tonight, and went down to feed the Butt Heads. Guess what! I used up the last of their f'ing overpriced dog food. WHICH MEANT I had to go out and get them more TONIGHT because I work in the morning and Steve won't be able to get them any before he goes to work tomorrow morning and the last thing I want is for the Little Shits to tear up their 313th dog bed in 1 1/2 years because they are hungry and mad. 

OH EM GEE. I put the stupid chicken in the stupid oven, set 25 degrees cooler than the recipe stated, because I then put the stupid kids in the stupid car and left the house with the stupid chicken in the stupid oven to get the f'ing dogs their Limited Ingredient Dog Food because did I mention that Gus has food allergies? HE DOES.

When we got home, the chicken was almost done, Niamh confessed that she left her homework at school which was fine because it was 8:00 and we didn't have time to do homework anyway, the kids got ready for bed, I tasted the chicken which was divine, and the dogs fell asleep on their 313th bed in 1 1/2 years.

I hate them.

P.S. Make this recipe. Its delicious.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Two Great January Birthdays

Finn's birthday is in a couple of weeks. He was having his afternoon snack today and he said to me, Mama, do you know someone special who is having a birthday soon?

Me: I sure do know someone special who is having his birthday soon!

Finn: Yeah, his name is Martin.

Me: Huh? Who?

Finn: Martin. He was a really good man who did a lot of really good things for people and his birthday is next week.

Me: Oh, Martin Luther King. Yes, he was a really good man. Did you know you were supposed to be born on Martin's same birthday but you slept in another 5 days?

Niamh: Yeah, I knew that. That's why when Finn was in your tummy I thought you were going to name him Martin Luther King.

Me: Yep, but we thought that might be a little weird.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Is Daddy Awake Yet?

That's all Finn said when he came upstairs in his Baby GAP jammies, with his modified Nerf machine gun hanging at his knees, below his pull up.
Is Daddy awake yet?

I asked him why he wanted Daddy to get up. 
So I can shoot him, he replied.

I can't decide if the "under the sea" themed PJs and brightly colored plastic gun make this innocent enough to keep me from enrolling him in tap class.