Mr. Squishy Butt

My little sister is FINALLY FINALLY getting a Bull Dog. She has been absolutely crazed over these little devils for years. She stops all Bull Dog owners on the street, takes photos, asks for phone numbers and addresses so she can continue to bump in to the dogs (I’m serious). And, for Valentine’s Day, she placed an ad on Craigslist asking a willing Bull Dog owner to let her borrow their pooch for the day so that she could dress it up and take photos. See what I mean by “crazed”.

Tomorrow is The Day. Tomorrow, Mr. Squishy Butt (Squishy for short) will come home with her. She and her husband have given up their cute apartment near Golden Gate Park with all its charm and custom paint. They weren’t allowed pets there. Just last week, they moved to a different Golden Gate Park Area place. This one has a private yard and a deck for the Wee One.

Here are some of his baby photos. I am certain I’ll be receiving more soon. I think I might send her a Flip Video camera to capture his early years.

Uncle DP and Auntie Mae Mae, Congratulations on your new responsibility. I hope Mr. Squishy Butt doesn’t eat the walls in your new home.

Minute To Win It

Easter at the Westover’s. Seems like the meaning of Easter is going the way of the Dodo and heading toward Westyfest.

 Wes-ty-fest/noun:  A cornucopia of debauchery, games, and competition. An event held by the Westover family, usually in July.

This message was sent in an email from Auntie Alex, Hostess with the Mostest. “In addition, if you want to do a Minute-to-Win-it game such as the feather blowing or ping pong ball into the tub on your head, feel free to bring supplies and a prize.  Park also wants to set up an UNO bracket in groups o 4.”

So, this year, “in addition” to the food and egg hunt at Auntie Alex’s house, there will be games. With the Westy’s, where there are games, there are cheaters, sore losers, and obnoxious winners.

Way to go, Park. Steve came home from work wanting to play UNO to practice his game for Sunday. Is there such a thing as practicing and perfecting a game of UNO?

Here’s a sneak peek at what the Westovers of Wallingford are planning for our Minute-to-Win-it game.

Bring It!

Bullet Points

Remember, this blog is kind of like my baby book for the kids. So, I need to bullet point a few things from recent days that I want to remember.

• Woke up Saturday to Niamh and Finn fighting about who was older. Progressed to fighting about who was bigger. Ended with an argument about who had more money. I don’t know how Finn thought he was going to win the first two arguments. As for the third, they are both equally broke.
• Niamh just told me that at her school, the bathrooms have alarms that go off if a boy goes into a girls’ bathroom, and vice versa. I asked her if she had ever heard the alarms go off. She said, “no”. I asked her who told her about the alarms. She said, “Mr. Aramaki. I almost went in to a boy bathroom and he saw me and told me.” The Principal! I really like that guy!
• Niamh is wearing a shrinky dink necklace of a Boxer dog. She claims that she is the Princess of Eddyland, and I am Queen. That poor dog didn’t get this kind of recognition when he was alive. She named a whole Land for him (her room).
• Finn asked Steve for a peanut butter and jelly and pickles sandwich. Steve made it for him. Finn ate it and loved it.
• After Niamh made her own lunch, she proclaimed that she makes really good sandwiches and will make them every day for her own kids, and she hopes she has two kids. Finn said he wants five kids. Niamh then said, “Finn! That’s a lot of money your going to waste on getting all those beds for those kids and a big house too!”

And Someday We Will Swap Clothes

One of the Mom’s stopped me on the playground today and said to me, “I just asked Niamh if she thought they made those shoes in my size. She responded, ‘They don’t, my mom already looked.’” Its true, I did.

Our Father, Who Art In Heaven, Thank You for the Combo of Peanut Butter and Chocolate

Yesterday, Finn really really wanted to go somewhere while Niamh was at school. He even tried this line, “We can go to the mall and you can buy fancy clothes.” He knows me so well. Still, I just wanted to get the laundry done and stay in Yoga pants all day. I even convinced myself that while Finn napped I would pop in an exercise video and shed a few pounds.

Finn went to bed, I did a quick check of my emails and blogs, added several items to my “want” folder in my favorites file, and then started to search for chocolate peanut butter ice cream recipes. Here is when my plan to shed a few pounds went in the toilet.

The recipe I chose clearly stated, “If you’re trying to exercise self control, don’t make this ice cream. If you’re trying to set an example for your children about moderation, turn away now. This ice cream is proof that God loves us.” I knew I had no business making this ice cream. I am one of those people that has to throw ice cream in the sink and dump vinegar over it to stop myself from eating it. I am one of those people who doesn’t eat anything else all day to save the day’s calories exclusively for ice cream consumption. But, I was so intrigued by the warnings that I went ahead and did it. And, I had all the ingredients in my house already. It felt like I was supposed to make it. I need to know that God loves me, right? (Watch out for that lightening!)

After making the mix, and after pouring myself just a little wee cup of the warm peanut buttery fudgy liquid to drink like a shot of tequila, and after putting it in the fridge to cool, I still had 40 minutes to spare before I had to pick up Niamh from school. Guilt started to overwhelm me. Didn’t I tell Finn that I didn’t want to go anywhere today because I wanted to stay in Yoga pants so that I could exercise while he napped? I had enough time to do my ab ripper video. I did it. And, while transforming my middle in a mere 35 minutes, Finn woke from his nap and sat on the couch behind me, berating me for not getting my legs high enough, or straight enough, and “Mama, why did you stop? The man on the television didn’t stop!” I refrained (but barely) from explaining to him that he is the reason my middle looks the way it does, and please keep your comments to yourself.

Fast Forward 2 hours. I got a message from my friend, Julie, asking me to meet her at Molly Moon’s for ice cream!  When she called, I was in the middle of making a huge lasagna for dinner (because the ice cream wasn’t going to be enough to satiate me after my afternoon work out?). So, I invited Julie and her little guy, Mason, over for dinner and ice cream at my house instead. She couldn’t have called at a better time on a better evening. I was actually cooking a meal large enough to feed a family of 10, I had an open bottle of wine, and the fixings for a nice salad. And, with her help, I wouldn’t eat the entire  batch of ice cream alone! I really was meant to make that ice cream yesterday! It was Divine Intervention! I AM A BELIEVER! (ouch, there’s that lightening again.)

**I wish I had taken a photo of Mason while he was here. He looked so cute in his striped rugby shirt, cuffed jeans, and big kid kicks. Next time.**