Mr. Squishy Butt

My little sister is FINALLY FINALLY getting a Bull Dog. She has been absolutely crazed over these little devils for years. She stops all Bull Dog owners on the street, takes photos, asks for phone numbers and addresses so she can continue to bump in to the dogs (I’m serious). And, for Valentine’s Day, she placed an ad on Craigslist asking a willing Bull Dog owner to let her borrow their pooch for the day so that she could dress it up and take photos. See what I mean by “crazed”.

Tomorrow is The Day. Tomorrow, Mr. Squishy Butt (Squishy for short) will come home with her. She and her husband have given up their cute apartment near Golden Gate Park with all its charm and custom paint. They weren’t allowed pets there. Just last week, they moved to a different Golden Gate Park Area place. This one has a private yard and a deck for the Wee One.

Here are some of his baby photos. I am certain I’ll be receiving more soon. I think I might send her a Flip Video camera to capture his early years.

Uncle DP and Auntie Mae Mae, Congratulations on your new responsibility. I hope Mr. Squishy Butt doesn’t eat the walls in your new home.

Minute To Win It

Easter at the Westover’s. Seems like the meaning of Easter is going the way of the Dodo and heading toward Westyfest.

 Wes-ty-fest/noun:  A cornucopia of debauchery, games, and competition. An event held by the Westover family, usually in July.

This message was sent in an email from Auntie Alex, Hostess with the Mostest. “In addition, if you want to do a Minute-to-Win-it game such as the feather blowing or ping pong ball into the tub on your head, feel free to bring supplies and a prize.  Park also wants to set up an UNO bracket in groups o 4.”

So, this year, “in addition” to the food and egg hunt at Auntie Alex’s house, there will be games. With the Westy’s, where there are games, there are cheaters, sore losers, and obnoxious winners.

Way to go, Park. Steve came home from work wanting to play UNO to practice his game for Sunday. Is there such a thing as practicing and perfecting a game of UNO?

Here’s a sneak peek at what the Westovers of Wallingford are planning for our Minute-to-Win-it game.

Bring It!

Bullet Points

Remember, this blog is kind of like my baby book for the kids. So, I need to bullet point a few things from recent days that I want to remember.

• Woke up Saturday to Niamh and Finn fighting about who was older. Progressed to fighting about who was bigger. Ended with an argument about who had more money. I don’t know how Finn thought he was going to win the first two arguments. As for the third, they are both equally broke.
• Niamh just told me that at her school, the bathrooms have alarms that go off if a boy goes into a girls’ bathroom, and vice versa. I asked her if she had ever heard the alarms go off. She said, “no”. I asked her who told her about the alarms. She said, “Mr. Aramaki. I almost went in to a boy bathroom and he saw me and told me.” The Principal! I really like that guy!
• Niamh is wearing a shrinky dink necklace of a Boxer dog. She claims that she is the Princess of Eddyland, and I am Queen. That poor dog didn’t get this kind of recognition when he was alive. She named a whole Land for him (her room).
• Finn asked Steve for a peanut butter and jelly and pickles sandwich. Steve made it for him. Finn ate it and loved it.
• After Niamh made her own lunch, she proclaimed that she makes really good sandwiches and will make them every day for her own kids, and she hopes she has two kids. Finn said he wants five kids. Niamh then said, “Finn! That’s a lot of money your going to waste on getting all those beds for those kids and a big house too!”

And Someday We Will Swap Clothes

One of the Mom’s stopped me on the playground today and said to me, “I just asked Niamh if she thought they made those shoes in my size. She responded, ‘They don’t, my mom already looked.’” Its true, I did.

Our Father, Who Art In Heaven, Thank You for the Combo of Peanut Butter and Chocolate

Yesterday, Finn really really wanted to go somewhere while Niamh was at school. He even tried this line, “We can go to the mall and you can buy fancy clothes.” He knows me so well. Still, I just wanted to get the laundry done and stay in Yoga pants all day. I even convinced myself that while Finn napped I would pop in an exercise video and shed a few pounds.

Finn went to bed, I did a quick check of my emails and blogs, added several items to my “want” folder in my favorites file, and then started to search for chocolate peanut butter ice cream recipes. Here is when my plan to shed a few pounds went in the toilet.

The recipe I chose clearly stated, “If you’re trying to exercise self control, don’t make this ice cream. If you’re trying to set an example for your children about moderation, turn away now. This ice cream is proof that God loves us.” I knew I had no business making this ice cream. I am one of those people that has to throw ice cream in the sink and dump vinegar over it to stop myself from eating it. I am one of those people who doesn’t eat anything else all day to save the day’s calories exclusively for ice cream consumption. But, I was so intrigued by the warnings that I went ahead and did it. And, I had all the ingredients in my house already. It felt like I was supposed to make it. I need to know that God loves me, right? (Watch out for that lightening!)

After making the mix, and after pouring myself just a little wee cup of the warm peanut buttery fudgy liquid to drink like a shot of tequila, and after putting it in the fridge to cool, I still had 40 minutes to spare before I had to pick up Niamh from school. Guilt started to overwhelm me. Didn’t I tell Finn that I didn’t want to go anywhere today because I wanted to stay in Yoga pants so that I could exercise while he napped? I had enough time to do my ab ripper video. I did it. And, while transforming my middle in a mere 35 minutes, Finn woke from his nap and sat on the couch behind me, berating me for not getting my legs high enough, or straight enough, and “Mama, why did you stop? The man on the television didn’t stop!” I refrained (but barely) from explaining to him that he is the reason my middle looks the way it does, and please keep your comments to yourself.

Fast Forward 2 hours. I got a message from my friend, Julie, asking me to meet her at Molly Moon’s for ice cream!  When she called, I was in the middle of making a huge lasagna for dinner (because the ice cream wasn’t going to be enough to satiate me after my afternoon work out?). So, I invited Julie and her little guy, Mason, over for dinner and ice cream at my house instead. She couldn’t have called at a better time on a better evening. I was actually cooking a meal large enough to feed a family of 10, I had an open bottle of wine, and the fixings for a nice salad. And, with her help, I wouldn’t eat the entire  batch of ice cream alone! I really was meant to make that ice cream yesterday! It was Divine Intervention! I AM A BELIEVER! (ouch, there’s that lightening again.)

**I wish I had taken a photo of Mason while he was here. He looked so cute in his striped rugby shirt, cuffed jeans, and big kid kicks. Next time.**

Still Missing Him

We talk about our Sweet Eddy just about every day. Yesterday, Finn was asking me about Eddy’s ashes (in my closet). Without rehashing my explanation of cremation (awkward) and his unexpected follow up questions, we came to a point when I said, “Do you still miss him, Buddy? I still miss Eddy a whole lot.” Finn said, “Yep, I do.  But we’ll see him again when his tree grows.” (Referring to the tree we plan to plant when we have a memorial for Eddy, when we get the back yard finished, when we can agree on a design, when we unexpectedly find a whole lot of money to pay for the yard, when I stop spending it on new jeans, boots, and coats.)

I love Finn’s simple little world of happiness. Things usually turn out well in it.

What a Girl Likes

Niamh had the day off of school on Friday for ANOTHER Teacher Development Day, or something like that. She and I decided that we needed some girl time. We dropped off Finn at preschool and headed to Nordstrom Rack for an afternoon doing what we both love to do. We picked out a shopping cart full of dresses for her to try on and skipped (literally) over to the dressing room for a fashion show. Nothing makes this gal happier than trying on pretty dresses in front of a full length mirror.

 

No need to call The Ford Modeling School. She sent her application in months ago.

Genius

I was filled with pride when I saw Finn’s art work displayed at school. Finn has only recently shown any interest in drawing or coloring, whereas Niamh has loved both since she could hold a crayon. Note how he spelled his name with the first letter capitalized and the rest lowercase. The average Joe may not realize it, but that is advanced (and forced by me and his Pediatrician).

That Tricky Leprechaun

We didn’t catch him. Can you believe it? Our trap worked perfectly. I came downstairs for work at 5am and the cloud cage had fallen.

I was so excited, I looked in through the top and saw this.

The Little Bugger had left us his empties and some how escaped. We don’t know how he got out but Finn thinks “he must have little muscles” and he lifted up the cage and crawled out. None of us are getting our wish granted. I guess I will just have to go back to complaining about my current car and hoping for my dream car. Niamh is going to have to get off her rear and get her own “stuff”. And, Finn is just going to have to be satisfied with the 293 toy cars he already owns. The Leprechaun did bring us Lucky Charms cereal, and, after finishing off his Baileys, peed in our toilet and didn’t flush. He pees green pee, of course.

Correction

My apologies go out to Finn for misquoting him in the post titled “To Catch a Leprechaun.” Finn does not want to wish for another helicopter. Rather, when we catch the Leprechaun, Finn will wish for a car that drives by itself, without batteries, and he can fit in it, and it has a steering wheel so that he can drive it if he wants to drive.

Thank You,                                                                                                         The Editor

To Catch a Leprechaun

Bring it on, Leprechaun!

This year we are going to catch that Leprechaun. We don’t want to hurt him. We just want to see him with our own eyes. We are pretty sure that if we catch him, he has to grant us 3 wishes, or is that from another story? Whatever, the kids have each come up with their own wish. Niamh wants a robot that brings her everything she wants as soon as she asks for it (i.e. a different Mom than the one she currently has). Her robot won’t require batteries or a plug. I love that she actually thought of that detail.  Finn wants another helicopter. He’s so easy to please. Steve and I are sharing our wish and we agree that it would be best if we ask for my dream car, a Eurovan, so that I can finally shut up about it.

Here’s how the trap works. Leprechauns are attracted to shiny objects and to Baileys Irish Cream. We have lured him to both with the gold path, the bottles of booze, and the pot of (fool’s) gold. He will undoubtedly want to take the gold away with him. The pot is holding down a string that is attached to the cloud cage above. When he lifts the pot, the string will be released, and the cage will come down on top of him. We will find him, get our wishes (I’d like mine in the candy white with curtains), and then let him go. No hard feelings.

We will share a photo of him tomorrow when we meet him.

Colorful

Today, I thought she looked like sunshine.

………..and like she needed to eat some Mac and Cheese.

We’re Back

Where’d we go? Well, nowhere really. I wish I could say we did. I just got lazy, writer’s block, who knows. But, life went on as usual around here.  Here are some recent conversations we have had.

Me to Finn, who was straining to see something out the front window: “Finn, what are you looking at?”                                            Finn: “I’m looking for our money tree.”

Me: “Niamh, what do you want for lunch tomorrow?”  Niamh: “How about some protein.”

Niamh: “Mommy, did you know that boy unicorns have a penis but girl unicorns don’t?”

Finn: “Mama, is there already a baby in my tummy?”

Finn": “When someone buys a new roof, how do they get it home in their car?”

Niamh, after watching me change the dressing on my leg following a minor outpatient procedure.: “Mama, watching this makes my forehead tickle. When Jaya sees something that makes her nervous, her bum tickles.”

Me: “Finn, was Shadee your teacher at swim lessons yesterday, or was it the other lady?”                                                                                    Finn: “Is Shadee the one with the black hair or the one with the big bum?”

More to come, just thought I should get SOMETHING up and posted! Our 3 readers have been bugging me.

Be Back Soon

I know, I know. I haven’t posted anything in ages. I’m working on it, I swear.

**In searching for a “Be Back Soon” image, I found this. I couldn’t bring myself to have the image on my screen, but had to share it in some capacity.**